Slow, steady, here.
Updated: Feb 5
In the midst of a subtle conversation about GOD, I often find myself being triggered on the topic of Religion. It is in these moments where I begin to feel uncomfortable that I find what I am looking for.........release.
.....So I beg the question;
"What is it that I'm craving?"
My soul spoke "Something Deeper……"
Something Real, relatable……from the heart.
I crave to touch other dimensions, Other light-years,
I want to reach for desire without fear, I want to grasp the beauty of experience without the resistance of pain……It hurts to heal.
.....because I feel it. It's barren…….dark, lonely.
Fully exposing the broken yet hopeful versions of me
I can't help but resist the Shedding of my exterior.
I know when I feel like this, Clarity seeks to find me.
I am learning to trust myself……
learning to let go; Flow.
So let me be real......
I feel Sad.
My emotion is powerful without Mercy......it takes me to a place where I am so bare that I recognize I am exalted, liberated in these very weak moments of true surrender.
Then I come back…..and my body remembers its place……it's lane, its structure. I want to escape my own walls & Barriers. I want to let myself cry and know exactly which part of me calls from my sorrow.
I feel like I always have to explain myself, protect myself, defend myself. And if I am soft, I am not heard. But If I am strong in my stance, I am intimidating, feared, defiant. Which part of me knows this balance? Which part of me knows the connection?
I feel fearless when I weep. There is no time to fear, no part of me energetic enough to entertain my illusions…….all the power placed in my Breath; The Now.………
The best prayers are the ones not spoken; but where I am received in my descending…..sinking, allowing…….melting. Where I can be looked at from the inside out by the one who sits Greater than I; and even in my dismay, I am looked at with perfect eyes……